Because I am all for someone else making Sunday Dinner (or Monday dinner or any other dinner), I was delighted when Bunnie announced that the kitchen was hers today. Being part of the plugged in generation, I suppose it shouldn’t have surprised me when she eschewed a traditional cookbook in favor of the laptop playing recipe videos. Here’s what she made first: Parmesan Herb Knots. Y’all they were heavenly and looked so pretty I was almost afraid to eat them…almost.
She served them with a lower fat meatloaf from scratch, mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli and chilled pears with sweet tea and raspberry gelatin for dessert. The chances of me pulling off a meal like that at fourteen? Ha! and HA! again. I am very proud of my daughter today.
Of course it does point up the very basic personality differences in my wee poppets. Bunnie, my ever practical, ever gentle child makes a comfort food feast for her first “all-by-myself” meal. Whereas Bear? My ever adventurous, ever determined child rolled his own sushi with miso soup and Turkish Delight for dessert on his first go out of the gate.
Y’all? I’m pretty sure the first family meal I made involved a packet of Lipton soup mix and peaches from a can. Am I a proud Mama? You bet.
“Politics - just like religion - is a major big time hot button on people’s emotions.So - do you wear your political heart on your sleeve?”
It got me to thinking about the assumptions we make when we identify with someone. I am as guilty as the next person of projecting my own views onto someone I admire.
We can use me for an example. I try not to harangue y’all too often with my political views here at Canned Laughter, but a quick search or even a minute at my twitter page will tell you exactly where I stand. Still here are some facts about me. What does your first instinct tell you about my politics based on these statements?
I am a faithful church-going Christian. My religious beliefs inform my politics.
My children have never been latchkey kids.
I am a middle class, white woman living in an overwhelmingly Republican state.
I am an SUV driving football mom
I am fiscally conservative
What about these statement?
My daughter was baptised by an openly gay priest with the full endorsement of our Bishop.
Due to crushing medical and housing expenses, my professional husband and I worked three jobs between us and still had trouble buying milk for our children.
During those tough times we were grateful for the help we received through WIC and the now defunct federal ADC program which provided a box of food staples every month and affordable dental care for our older child.
There is an alarming number of civil servants and politicians on my family tree going back before the Revolutionary War. Social responsibility and the importance of helping the less fortunate was hammered into me from birth.
I believe in the Green Movement. In grade school I started an Environmental Awareness Club. Mostly we picked up trash and giggled about boys. Give a Hoot, Don’t Pollute!
Where do I stand on the political spectrum now? Where do I stand on cute boys?
My point is that politics can not inform a person’s worth, intelligence, faith or ability to love. I select my friends based upon personal merit, not politics. All of us love people at every point on the political spectrum. I hope we can respect them all, too.
Here are two blogs I read faithfully, written by women I admire:
When slipping into This-Is-Your-Lucky-Night Pumps, flirting becomes slightly less effective when one stops to search for bifocals in order to fasten the tiny buckles on the ankle straps.
And now for something completely different, I think we can all relate to Affirmation Girl and her first vlog .
Warning: The following video is not kids/office friendly
Sunday I made sandwiches for the soup kitchen. I went to regular services and listened to a sermon on the parting of the Red Sea. I took communion and prayed for my neighbors. I was a dutiful and pious church lady. And then, it happened.
Tucked in among the announcements in my church bulletin I found this little line item from the Board of Trustees:
Other Items:
A new illuminated computerized two-sided sign at the corner
Estimated Cost………………………………………….$30, 000 to $40,000
My first thought was HOW MUCH FOR WHAT? My next thought was why would they want to put such a monument to bad taste in front of MY church? If they think they are going to put that eyesore in front of MY House of Worship, they have another think coming! It was obvious to my poor long suffering Spouse that he was in for a rant on the drive home.
Not surprisingly, my Spouse was with me on this one. “You know, in Christ’s time they had the equivalent of the ‘Mega Church’. They had these huge temples in the big cities with barkers out front trying to lure people in to tithe. These electronic signs are like modern barkers.”
“Wait”, I said, “you mean like the guys who stand out in front of strip clubs and bars passing out fliers to draw people in?”
“Um, not really, but uh…”
“Oh man, I can see the scrolling messages now: ‘C’mon in! Coldest chalice, Hottest dispensation, get it here!’”.
“You know that’s not what I meant…”
“All Charismatic, All the time!”
“Grace! Grace! Grace!”
“You can stop now…”
“Check it out! Skimpiest choir robes in town!”
“OK. You know you’re going to Hell for that one, don’t you?”
Seriously, I am of the opinion that this sign is less about reaching out and more about pride. I believe I’d rather see $40,000 buying a lot of baloney sandwiches for the soup kitchen, than buying a phoney baloney monument to parish pride.
And I suspect the fellow who overturned the tables outside the Temple might just agree with me.
Sarah Palin loves hunting and rooting out unethical politicians. Can’t she combine the two interests? I can think of several politicians from both parties that would look better stuffed and mounted.
David Duchovny has entered a Rehabilitation Center for sex addiction. Wait? You can have your husband locked up for being a dog and constantly bothering you for “goodies”? Why didn’t anyone tell me? The Rehab threat may replace my rolled up newspaper! Only I’m wondering… What exactly are the 12 steps?
Some people cry when they are stressed. Some cry when they are happy. Some only cry in times of sorrow. I cry for no reason whatsoever.
Seriously, there is no logic to my tears. I can be totally crushed by tragic events, be surrounded my sobbing loved ones, and feel absolutely no inclination to cry. Then in the middle of a celebration, tears will well up for no reason at all.
Yesterday was a weepy day. It started after I finally got the children off to school. Spouse and I ran a few errands. I went into Bear’s room, and began picking up. And picking up. And picking up. And writing notes. “I am a chest of drawers. Folded clothes go inside of me.”, “I am a chair. Students sit in me. I am not a clothes rack.”, and of course the note taped to the back of his door with a stick figure drawing of myself: “I am a mother. I am not going to clean this room again.”
Before I was able to finish, it was time to leave for the office. I looked at the bits of paper left on the floor and dust covering all the furniture, and I burst into tears.
Things didn’t improve at work. The internet was down. Supply requests needed canceling and rescheduling. The woman at AT&T’s customer service snapped at me. I had to stop what I was doing for a quiet cry.
On the way home, Don McLean’s “American Pie” came on. It doesn’t remind me of any particular time or person. Still, it’s so beautiful, I just have to cry. So, I did. I cried through the entire 8 minutes, 43 seconds it was playing.
When I got home, everyone had had a wonderful day. Spouse and kids were happy and excited about all they had done. I had a cocktail, laughed at all of their funny stories, ate a good dinner then turned on the Democratic National Convention.
I humphed and harrumphed through most of it (I tend to be a little cynical about politics), but then Ted Kennedy took the stage. Cue the waterworks. Every time his voice cracked, I sobbed. Loudly. I don’t remember much about the speech, but I felt much better about the election after hearing it. Well, actually after seeing him. Because “Uncle Teddy” is just so reassuring even when I don’t hear a word he says.
Today is the first day of school. Today is the first day I’m turning over a new leaf. No more helicopter parenting. This is Bear’s senior year. He needs to be responsible for himself. I need to back off and let him take care of himself.
So how’s that working out?
8:30 Last night:
“Hey Dad, I’m going out to the bowling alley with the guys. I’ll be home late.”
Me in the background: “Whaaat? Oh no he isn’t! Doesn’t he know that tomorrow is the first day of school? Absolutely not! Tell him to get his little tookus home this minute!”
“OK Bear, just be sure you’re home before 10:00. Mom says remember you have to get your things ready for school tomorrow.”
10:45pm: Me: “Bear get up off your duff and get your clothes laid out for the morning. Pack your football gear, charge your cell phone, put some paper and a pen in a binder and let’s get ready for school. Now! I’m not kidding! Did you remember socks? I’m not going to hear, ‘Mom, I need socks!”tomorrow morning am I? Because you know, you’re on your own kid. Did you remember your lunch money?”
Bear, turn off the video games and get your stuff ready for school like your Mom asked. Be sure to set your alarm, we’re not waking you up.
7:30am: What the hell, Bear? What are you doing? You’re going to be late! No, you can’t drive yourself to school now, you’ll never get parked and make the first bell! Why are you looking for your football gear now? Your mother told you to get all that stuff together last night! How can you be late on your first day of school?
Me: Ooooh, my stomach hurts.
Y’all, I am just not cut out for this hands off parenting stuff. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to clean Bear’s room and lay out his things for tomorrow. My stomach can’t take any more mornings like this.
Because it is another crazy busy weekend and ALL the COOLKIDS are doing it:
1)Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you have eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment at Very Good Taste linking to your results.
1. Venison -I make a killer venison.
2. Nettle tea - Yes, but do be careful, it’s a diuretic.
3. Huevos rancheros - If it’s Tex-Mex, I’ve shoveled it down my gob.
4. Steak tartare - A favorite of mine. Best local tartare is here
5. Crocodile - Yes, I’ve had Alligator because I’m a good sport, but I really dislike reptile meat.
6. Black pudding - I didn’t care much for it.
7. Cheese fondue - Childhood Fondue Trauma. Let us not speak of Mother’s Fondue Fridays again.
8. Carp -It was pretty darn good for a goldfish.
9. Borscht - I make a mean Borscht, too.
10. Baba ghanoush - The salad, not the paste. Note to self: Try making the paste.
11. Calamari - I’ve tasted better pencil erasers.
12. Pho - Nope, but I think I’d like it.
13. PB&J sandwich - After not being able to eat for several weeks as a kid, a nurse turned me onto toasted PBJs. Mmm, melty peanut butter…nom, nom. PBJs literally saved my life.
14. Aloo Gobi-
15. Hot dog from a street cart, meat on a stick, too. I don’t always ignore my mother’s warnings.
16. Epoisses - If you haven’t tasted it, do.
17. Black Truffle- I’d probably make a pig of myself. Get it? Truffle? Pig? HaHaHaHaHa.
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes - Does Boones Farm Tickle Pink count? No? Good thing I tried nasty blackberry wine then.
19. Steamed Pork Buns -
20. Pistachio ice cream - My parents were particularly fond of Spumoni (Chocolate, Cherry,Pistachio)
21. Heirloom tomatoes - Got Maters?
22. Fresh wild berries - I’m a well known berry dawdler. I cannot pass by a fence rail treat.
23. Foie gras - Remember what Precious Pupp did when Granny gave him biscuits?
24. Rice and beans -
25. Souse andBrawn or Head Cheese - Mother served it. The dog ate it.
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet Pepper- Kinda like a mild habanero, meh.
27. Dulce de leche - Especially around Epiphany
28. Oysters - With ice cold vodka, please
29. Baklava - Every Christmas.
30. Bagna cauda - Had to look this up. No, but if you’re serving it, I’m in!
31. Wasabi peas - I tend to pick these out of snack mixes and eat them all. Yum!
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl - Yes, but seems like a waste of good chowdah.
33. Salted lassi -
34. Sauerkraut - Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Barf! Mom loves it. Spouse loves it. I can’t stand the smell!
35. Root beer float - Loved it as a kid.
36. Cognac with a fat cigar -Yes I tasted one of Spouse’s cigars with cognac. I’d rather just enjoy the smell of his cigar secondhand, thank you.
37. Clotted cream tea -
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O -Only to be polite, but nasty.
39. Gumbo -make it regularly
40. Oxtail - make oxtail soup regularly
41. Curried goat-
42. Whole insects-Wait. On purpose? Ewwww!And what do they mean WHOLE? Like some bug parts are more delectable than others?
43. Phaal - The hotter the better, with a giant lager, please.
44. Goat’s Milk- No, but I promised Bunnie I’d take her here to buy some today. Ninjapoodles talked me into it.
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more - My favorite perk from tending bar in college.
46. Fugu -
47. Chicken Tiki Masala-
48. Eel - I saw The Tin Drum. ‘Nuff said.
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut - Watch my eyes glaze over and my tongue hang out for the hot ones.
50. Sea urchin - nope.
51. Prickly Pear -
52. Umeboshi-
53. Abalone -
54. Paneer -
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal -Chances of me ever eating it again are slim to none.
56. Spaetzle - Green beans with spaetzle. Another favorite of Mom’s and the dog who cleaned them off my plate.
57. Dirty gin martini - I’ve tasted them tending bar for my Dad as a kid. Yech, Gin.
58. Beer above 8% ABV - No.
59. Poutine -
60. Carob chips -Even the dog won’t eat them.
61. S’mores- blech. I don’t like chocolate.
62. Sweetbreads - Best in my area? Here.
63. Kaolin - What are they talking about?
64. Currywurst -
65. Durian - I looked this up. “Fruit that smells like stinky socks.”
66. Frogs’ legs - I don’t like reptiles.
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake - My beignets story here.
68. Haggis - In Scotland. It was good.
69. Fried plantain-Sickeningly sweet.
70. Chitterlings or Andouillette - Chitlins? You mean people eat them who don’t have to?
71. Gazpacho - Mom liked this one too. Being a kid in the 70’s stunk.
72. Caviar and blini - Really good caviar IS worth the price.
73. Louche absinthe -
74. Gjetost, or brunost-
75. Roadkill - Not even funny.
76. Baijiu -
77. Hostess Fruit Pie - Lemon, please.
78. Snail -If you mean escargot, it’s a family favorite.
79. Lapsang souchong - My favorite tea.
80. Bellini -
81. Tom Yum-
82. Eggs Benedict -
83. Pocky -the kids are Japanese crazy. Of course we’ve had Pocky.
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare- No, but I do make a wicked jugged hare with rabbit.
87. Goulash -
88. Flowers -
89. Horse -
90. Criollo chocolate - Bittersweet
91. Spam - shudder. Kids saw Monty Python’s Spam Song for the first time tonight. They laughed, but had to ask what Spam is.
92. Soft shell crab - Spent every weekend on the Chespeake Bay as a kid. Best crab bait? Raw bacon, but I’m thinking maybe Spam. Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam…
93. Rose harissa -
94. Catfish - Barf, Barf, barf!I don’t like rubber fish!
95. Mole Poblano-That’s chocolate, right? No thanks.
96. Bagel and lox - With capers, and one of those Bellinis, please.
97. Lobster Thermidor -
98. Polenta -
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee - Meh.
100. Snake-I don’t like reptiles.
This morning I had a transport for Great Dane Rescue of North Texas. I went to pick up a pair of poochies at the city shelter near my home. My daughter went with me. On the way she studied their photos and proposed names.
“The girl looks small and scared. I think she should be Nina. I don’t know about the boy. Maybe they should have a couple name like Tommy & Tuppence or Nick & Nora. I like Nick and Nora.”
We arrived before the doors opened at ten o’clock and a crowd was beginning to gather. An elderly man showed me a photograph of his beloved Chihuahua. “He is so young, only five months old. I had planned to get him micro chipped when he is old enough to neuter. Now he’s lost. They said they would post his picture on their on-line Lost & Found Board. I hope someone finds him soon.”
A smartly dressed woman showed us a photograph of a pair of Boxers that wandered into her yard. They were beautiful. She said they were well mannered and had obviously been well cared for. She locked them in her back yard and said she put signs up around her neighborhood. She didn’t want to give animal control custody of them because she was convinced that they would be euthanized because they “resemble pit bulls.” I offered her contact information for Boxer rescue, but “If I turn them in they’ll be neutered and I have relatives who would just love to have these dogs if the owners don’t turn up, and they wouldn’t want them fixed.” Aha, now it becomes clear. Despite her relatives (and to her credit), she had come to have them added to the Lost & Found Board as well.
A young couple saw the heavy collars and leashes in my hand and asked if I was from a Great Dane Rescue. When I said I was, the woman became a little panicky. “Oh, we’re here to adopt the boy! They said we’d need to get here before you picked them up!” When I assured them that there was no problem, they seemed relieved and even asked me some general care and feeding questions.
At ten o’clock we signed in and went out to the concrete block kennels. Our city has a clean well staffed shelter but the Police firing range next door must be hard on the animals’ nerves. As we walked the aisle between the pens, some dogs barked, some lunged and some just pawed at the gate and wagged their tails. I almost walked past the Dane’s pen. When I heard a small, soft woo noise I turned and saw her calling out to us. As Bunnie had predicted, she was very quiet, very gentle, and very sweet. Definitely a “Nina”.
On the way to our vet for Nina’s evaluation and health check, I wondered about the owners of the Boxers and the Chihuahua. If only they had spayed/neutered and chipped their dogs as pups, they might have them back at home right now.
As I turned her over to the vet’s assistant, Nina gave me a big Dane-ish lean and nuzzle. I’m a big sucker for the Dane Lean. But the lean-nuzzle combination? It just doesn’t get much better than that.
