Canned Laughter

Summer is here and I no longer have to wake up at six to get the kids to school.  Spouse had the week off and Bear has Mondays off from work and would be home with his little sister, so we decided to have our date night on a Monday.   Sounds like a plan, but where to go when most nightspots are closed on Monday or (shudder) having karaoke night.  In the end he wanted to go to the ginormous pub up the street for their beer by the pitcher special.  I see you shaking your heads at me, but really it wasn’t like that.

It was all just very pleasant.  I had one little pint of beer and talked with Spouse about the kids and did a little people watching. 

I had a second pint of beer and talked with Spouse about retirement real estate.  I began critiquing the hair of all the women in the pub because really?  The frizzy bleached out wedge cut does not flatter anyone.  The DJ came in and started playing Prince and Snoop Dogg and I began bopping along to the music.

I had a third pint of beer and began telling Spouse a long rambling story about a dream I had last night of a dear friend who died much too young.  I may have cried a little.

After a trip to the ladies where I fixed my lipstick and took down my hair and fluffed it all sexay-like, I returned to the table for another pint of beer.  At this point I flung my spectacles across the table and told Spouse all about the cigarette machine I’d passed.  Now I know I told you in my most sanctimonious voice that I gave up smoking years ago, but really having a cigarette or two seemed like such a good idea.  Did I tell you they were playing Prince?  In the words of Julia Roberts as the Pretty Woman, “Love that Prince!”.

Along about this time I may have lost track of my glass being refilled and Spouse moved over from across the table to a seat next to mine.  With the smoke and the music and the beer I began feeling like I was back in college.  I also began imagining that I looked like I did back in college as I acknowledged the admiring stares that came my way from all the cute young guys.  At least I think the stares were admiring… and I think the guys were young and cute…oh dear heavens!

Spouse was very solicitous helping me to the car and exchanging some sort of knowing glance with the off duty policeman at the door (What do you think THAT was all about?).  Then it was back home where I told the kids how much I luffed them and he tucked me into bed.  Now I’d like to report that he was a perfect gentleman, but judging by the evil gleam in his eyes when I awoke this morning…well…  When I told Spouse how much fun I had and how it was just like back when we were dating, he pointed out that unlike college we would not be going out and doing it all over again tonight. 

And I’m very grateful for that.