Canned Laughter

Congratulations to

Dee of Two Of A Kind, Working On A Full House!

She is the winner of this week’s giveaway!

There’ll be a new giveaway on Monday.

Come on back to enter!

In grade school I had a reputation for being fearless.  One day I was put to the ultimate test.

As the entire 3rd, 4th and 5th grade classes gathered round, I displayed super human courage by picking gum off the underside of Ricky’s desk, chewing it, and swallowing!

My efforts earned me $1.50 in milk money wagers and the respect and admiration of my peers.

Once again I give thanks that my children are nothing like me.

Our coach was telling us about genes and how some girls get fat when they grow up because their mothers are fat.  She said her mother was fat and lazy and ate too much.  She didn’t want to grow up looking like her mother, so she began dieting and exercising.  She said she is proud that she is slim and healthy and she makes sure to stay that way.

Then she asked us if we wanted to look like our mothers when we grow up.

Every girl in the class raised her hand yes.

My car knows something is up.  Lately I’ve been ignoring it.  I spend less and less time with it and more time on the internet.  It’s been a good car, but I can’t help feeling like I deserve something better.  At this time in my life, I shouldn’t be tied down to the same old thing.  I deserve a little fun.  I just want a little passion in my life.  The Smart fortwo Passion Cabriolet to be exact.  Behold:

Think it may be a little small?   Think again!  This ad makes me laugh.

What is your secret passion?  Tell us at I Want That Wednesday.

This morning as I was brushing and braiding my daughter’s lovely locks, a tres petite pouf of wind escaped leaving a malodorous air about the room.

“Whew!” I said, “That was a sneaky one!  So Quiet But Deadly.”

“Uh huh.  Are you almost done?”

“That was like a Ninja Toot!”

“OK, Mum.”

I then began singing to the cartoon theme song, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Tooters…”

“Mum, enough.”

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Tooters…”

“Really, that’s enough.”

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Tooters…”

“Maaahm!”

“Stinkers with a bad smell…”

“There’s no stopping you, is there?”

“Fart Power!”

“Now that that’s over with, are you ready to drive me to school?”

“Sure Honey, let me get my keys.”

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Tooters…”

She just sighed.

It’s another book themed giveaway! This week I’m giving away Lauren Weisberger’s Chasing Harry Winston. It’s a New York Times Bestseller from the author of The Devil Wears Prada and it’s a hoot!  You’ll get a (twice read) hardcover copy direct from my darling mother-in-law, to me, to you and a bonus gift.

I wish I could hook you up with a Harry Winston diamond ring of your own, but alas I’m still waiting for one myself. I briefly considered setting you up with gorgeous international playboys so that you could take your own “Tour De Whore” like the character, Emmy.  Nah.  Maybe a rent free penthouse apartment overlooking Manhattan like the character, Adriana enjoyed?  Nah.  Where’s the fun in that?

Instead, how about a home manicure kit so that you will never have to worry about slipping your diamonds onto a finger with a ragged cuticle.

R.E.D. by Kiss Power File To Go

• 8 Piece system.
• Battery operated nail file.
• Performance personal care tool.
• Ergonomic design for better control.
• 6 Interchangeable attachments to shape, clean, polish nails and soften skin.
• Barrel file for more advanced acrylic overlay fills, drills out white smile line for a back fill.
• Detail cone safely cleans underneath very short nails, removes excess product from sculptured acrylic overlays.
• Cone shaped file eliminates rough skin and calluses.
• Emery disc reduces the length of natural nails and reduces hardened, thickened toenails.
• Polishing disc buffs and shines nails.
• Small medium grit disc reduces length of natural and artificial nails.
• Requires 2 AAA batteries (not included).

To get yours, just leave a comment on this post.  Comments close Friday November 7.  Giveaway open to residents of the US and Canada.  Winner to be announced Saturday, November 8.  Good Luck!

For More Book Giveaways, visit Bookroom Reviews.

Eep! I uploaded a new sidebar widget the other day that wiped out everything in both sidebars.  Seriously, all of my sidebar content just disappeared, never to be seen again.  Please bear with me while I restore items.  This may take a while.  Sigh…

In other news,

Yes, I am joining National Blog Posting Month again this year.  Yes, I am going to attempt a post a day, every day in November.  Yes, I did swear last year that I would never do it again.  No, I did not have my head examined before signing up again.  Yes, I should have.

If you see me over at NaBloPoMo, be sure to friend me.  It was all the new bloggy friends I made last year that swayed my decision to do it again.  I’m hoping to meet even more great bloggers this year.

Mrs. Sara of A Clean, Well Lighted Place is the winner of my Busy As A Bee Give Away!  Congratulations, Mrs. Sara!

Watch for next week’s Give Away starting on Monday.  Good Luck!

I like handkerchiefs.

I like the feel of soft cotton and linen on my face.

I like being able to gently wipe scraped toddler knees without leaving nasty bits of bloody paper behind.

I like being kind to the environment by washing and reusing rather than constantly buying and disposing.

I like having sweetly perfumed bits of cloth leaving the light scent of gardenias in my pockets, purse and drawers.

I like quieting fussy children with a handkerchief dolly made right before their eyes.

I like admiring delicate stitchwork and beautifully turned hems on the hankies I carry with me.

I believe that there is something somewhat civilizing in the use of handkerchiefs.

It would seem that others agree with me.  Here are some recent handkerchief links I spotted just in time for Christmas:

• Lisa Clarke of Polka Dot Cottage is up to some gift giving Hanky Panky
• Preserves-the blog is Passing Down Heirloom Hankies
• Over at Grosgrain, she is stitching up easy monogram hankies with a clever holder
• and Sharon of the Old Oak Swing reminisces about Grandma’s Handkerchiefs When you read her beautiful essay, be sure to have one handy.

Nostalgic, environmentally friendly and inexpensive gifts for the holidays?  That’s what works for me!

Now here’s a quick Tutorial on how to make a handkerchief doll to settle fussy children when you are eating out or sitting in church:

TXPoppet Makes a Hankie Poppet

For more Works For Me Wednesday ideas,  visit Rocks in my Dryer.

Last night Spouse and I played a round of twilight golf.  Four holes and two cocktails.  Life doesn’t get any better than this.  A word of caution: When playing twilight golf on an unfamiliar course it is advisable to remember that you will end up in the dark. A flashlight would have been very helpful as we drove around in the dark, unable to see the course map.  In our efforts to return the cart, we must have driven in many circles.  My apologies to the kindly course manager who was preparing a search party to come and find us.  I’m thankful the bloodhounds and torches were unnecessary.