Canned Laughter

Y’all remember when I announced that I was taking the One Hundred Push-ups in One Month Challenge?  Did I follow the sensible program?  No, I don’t need no stinkin’ directions!

• Day One: You know all about it.  I decided I’d better take Ree’s advice and try doing them on my knees even though that sounds pretty silly.
• Day Two:  I can do kneeling push-ups!  Hey, wait.  This hurts.  I thought this was supposed to be easy.  20 kneeling push-ups.
• Day Three:  More whining. 40 kneeling push-ups.
• Day Four:  Hey, this isn’t so bad.  Spouse!  Get the dog out of here!  She thinks I’m doing the doggy “Play Bow” and keeps barking in my face.  50 kneeling push-ups.
• Day Five:  Let’s get a little fancier, shall we?  50 kneeling push-ups.  10 half push-ups with my feet in the air.

• Day Six:  I think I may actually do this!  In three more weeks, I should have this licked!  No, dog!  Don’t lick ME!  Spouse! 75 kneeling push-ups.  10 half push-ups.
• Day Seven:  Ooo yeah.  I am so fit.  I am a fitness expert!  75 kneeling push-ups.  25 half push-ups.
• Day Eight:  Power Failure.  There is no way I am going to do push-ups in over ninety degree heat.  Nope.  No way, Jose.  0 push-ups.
• Day Nine:  I strategize.  Tonight I take the dog on a nice but very hot little walk so she’ll go to bed and leave me alone.  3 half push-ups.  25 kneeling push-ups.  Then a shower because I’m “glowing” too much to go to bed without soaking the sheets.  Still end up too sticky to sleep.
• Day Ten:  Begin “glowing” again.  Wonder why I am doing this, exactly.  Push-ups are stupid.  Girls who do push-ups are smelly.  I do not want to be a smelly girl.  5 shaky half push-ups.
• Day Eleven:  Decide bedtime is a stupid time to do push-ups.  0 push-ups.
• Day Twelve:  Decide ANY time is a stupid time for push-ups.  0 push-ups.
• Day Thirteen:  Briefly consider telling Spouse that I did my push-ups this morning.  When he wasn’t home.  So nobody saw me.  But I did them.  Really.  0 push-ups.

So here we are, exactly two weeks in to the push up challenge and so far I’ve completed only 2 actual done-the-way-you’re-supposed-to-do-them push-ups.   But I’m going to work extra hard from now on and dedicate myself to this challenge.  In the morning.  When nobody’s around.  Really.

And by the way?  Here’s proof I’m not the only one who has doggy trouble when exercising.  Check out this picture of Lucy holding two little dogs on the Jack La Lanne show.